My Commute

Not sure if you guys know this but I have best commute in the world. I ride my bike to work from Arlington, VA to Washington DC. It usually takes me 25 minutes to get to work, which is significantly faster than taking public transportation (even when I factor in a ten minute shower at the office). It’s also a very scenic ride because I go through Arlington Cemetery, the Lincoln Memorial, and the Reflection Pool everyday. In addition, biking is a lot cheaper than paying $260 a month to park.

So I ride my bicycle 13 miles on my daily roundtrip to save time, save money, and get some exercise. Read: I am NOT riding my bike to reduce my carbon footprint or to save the environment or some other random hippie shit. This means STOP GIVING ME THE THUMBS UP SIGN, YOU HIPSTERS!

Not only do I have to fight traffic and have cars honking at me, I have to deal with these random-ass people yelling shit like “Thanks for saving the environment!” I once even received “Thanks for taking a stand against big-oil!”

I did not bike to save the environment. In fact, hearing that gets me so angry I want to go home and get in my car and drive around aimlessly while burning some natural resources... HARD! If I could roast baby seals with gulf oil, I’d do it.

I’m totally joking. I love riding my bike. I feel great in the mornings and really relaxed when I get home. Not burning fossil fuels is also a good additional benefit. You guys should try it.